Get Over IT
Is there a pill for this thing called trauma? ~ Susan Kay Wyatt
My dear friend Susan Kay Wyatt posted a great video in her Piano Chat last week, entitled “Got Trauma, Get Over It!” I had to giggle along with her light, yet oh so poignant thoughts!
Susan struck a special chord with me. Probably because I cannot count the number of friends, associates and supposedly “caring” people who have said the same to me. “Just get over it!” As if that’s not exactly what I’m working to do. Sigh.
Some folks aren’t that direct. Instead, they make flippant remarks or crack jokes, making light of my life’s journey in what I can only assume is an attempt to avoid having to feel some pain in their own selves.
We’ve All Got IT
Our programming to avoid anything uncomfortable is strong - especially in today’s emotionally numbing world. I continue to be amazed at how soulless people can be when they are protected by an avatar or email. But that’s another post….
The reality is that Everybody has some form of trauma. When we truly understand trauma and IT’s outward symptoms - we can see IT’s ugly face everywhere in our world, from gun-toting kids to overstressed executives to single Moms. Our very existence is creating trauma in the majority of us.
What’s really interesting is the knowing that we are all programmed to create trauma in ourselves. Bet you never heard that one before.
Here’s a simple example. We’re taught to never ever let them see us flinch. From sayings like “Keep a stiff upper lip” to “Boys don’t cry” to “Push through the pain” - we program ourselves to go through life in traumatic, false ways. Every time we push through instead of feeling and acknowledging - we create a tiny bit of trauma response. Over time, all of those tiny bits can, and do, add up.
The results range from avoidance to denial to living a false life and hiding our truth.
- How many people do you know who have to make a joke, or make some light comment, in the face of a tough conversation? Avoidance at its finest.
- How many people do you know who hunker down and act as though everything is fine - even if their world is falling apart. Denial simply internalizes the trauma response.
- How many simply don’t share their true feelings and fears because they can’t stand the thought of the comments, looks, pity and more from those who would claim to be totally healthy? That’s living a lie. Say hello to trauma.
We All Need to Get Over IT
In my opinion, “IT” isn’t the trauma.
What we need to get over is running from ourselves and our soul’s truth. We need to Get Over living in our brains and society’s programming. We need to Get Over running and rationalizing.
I think we need to learn to settle in and listen to our spirit’s guidance.
Would your soul be flippant about someone’s painful journey? Would your soul choose to live in avoidance of harsh realities instead of settling in to authenticity? I doubt it…
Living in Gratitude for IT
I’ve spent the last five years of my life focusing on Getting Over IT. I’ve actually spent most of my life Getting Over IT - I just didn’t know IT ‘til five years ago. I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey. That surprises a lot of people - but it’s true.
My journey of Getting Over IT helped me to find my true, soulful self. A self with compassion, empathy, wisdom and the courage to share my story to help others find their way to thrive.
Nearly every day I hear from someone new who wants to Get Over IT, someone whom I’ve touched with my story and learning, given strength, hope, a safe place to share or the chance to know they are not alone in their life’s journey.
That’s my reason for writing this blog, for sharing my less than happy truth.
If that means people think I need to Get Over IT and move on, learn to take my life less seriously and distract myself to put on my happy face - so be it. Everybody has their right to choose how they live their lives - in authenticity, or not.
My true prayer for all of those folks is that they find their path to Get Over IT, too!
8 Comments
Reader Comments (8)
Once again ... you live in my head. (and my heart, of course!) Brilliant post. :) xox
Beautiful post Rebel! I has something come up for me where I was very judgmental about someone else's stuff and I realized that I needed to allow them to be with their IT and I needed to attend to mine. As you said with great insight we can become invested in other people getting over IT to avoid our own stuff. And perhaps a gentler more compassionate view of the human journey would help us all. Love this discussion here.
Ms Carol
One of the things that's amazed me about my journey is the black and white of people's reactions. It's truly a study of our society. Almost without exception - people either:
a) Push away from my reality - they get flippant, try to minimize my journey or simply ignore it and act as if my life doesn't exist - avoiding any discussion at all costs. I understand that its scary for a lot of people to open their hearts and be vulnerable. But really - why the need to push that fear at me and/or minimize my truth with some distraction?
b) Are empathic and open - Im astounded at the volume of private emails and comments I get from people (women AND men) who are facing their own stories and who are grateful to know that someone else feels as they do.
I'm as amazed by the black responses as I am the white responses. Two ends of the spectrum - both unexpected:) Isn't that just life!
Thanks as always for sharing your magical thoughtful self here! XO
reb
Ajh Ms Kimbralee
Here I thought you were the one in my head:) XO
reb
I have never truly liked the phrase, "get over it." As a social worker that did child abuse investigations before becoming a stay-at-home dad I know you never get over traumas. You can learn to accept things, learn to live with things but you never truly get over it. It will always be a part of people.
Even in my own sordid past with my parents and events surrounding my first 42 years I know I will never truly be over things. For myself, I have learned that my past is what makes me who I am today. I have had a journey and through this journey I know I want my own son to have better, experience better and know better. I often tell people, "change begins from within" and I believe that.
Right on Dad!!!
I have an ongoing conversation with many of my clients and friends about whether we can ever Get Over It. I personally think we don't totally get over it - but thats because IT is part of who we are. IT is literally imprinted on our cellular DNA and our energetic selves - which make up most of who we are. I do believe we can learn to move beyond IT and to reprogram IT over time!
That said - I dont believe we do that through western therapy. I spent 30 years in therapy and noone ever guessed my story. In fact - I now know that all that therapy did nothing but to deepen the imprint of the trauma as I replayed false stories and experience the terror and more - again and again and again.
What I know to be true for me is that once I had my memories, I learned so much about myself, my triggers, and the deep deep programming that makes me who I am. THEN I was able to take the next step and begin to learn how to master that programming = not thru my mind and stories, but thru deep and powerful energetic work that focused on the trauma energy imprints themselves - which is where the trauma lives.
YOu are a rockstar for protecting your son and giving him what I am sure is a GRAND life. Talk about THRIVING - you're the perfect example my friend!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing!
reb
Very touching, very real, very true...nicely put into words, Red...NOW, get over yourself! JUST KIDDING...love you and love Ms. Wyatt aka @RaiseTheQueen! Had the pleasure of her company the other day and captured a great moment with her on video! Stay tuned...
As always, thanks for stopping by Bruce - and for promoting your video...with the grand Susan Kay Wyatt - one of the most amazing women I know!
XOXO